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    Former Guinness World Record Holder for largest book signing ever, Orrin Woodward is a NY Times bestselling author of And Justice For All along with RESOLVED & coauthor of LeaderShift and Launching a Leadership Revolution. His books have sold over one million copies in the financial, leadership and liberty fields. RESOLVED: 13 Resolutions For LIFE made the Top 100 All-Time Best Leadership Books and the 13 Resolutions are the framework for the top selling Mental Fitness Challenge personal development program.

    Orrin made the Top 20 Inc. Magazine Leadership list & has co-founded two multi-million dollar leadership companies. Currently, he serves as the Chairman of the Board of the LIFE. He has a B.S. degree from GMI-EMI (now Kettering University) in manufacturing systems engineering. He holds four U.S. patents, and won an exclusive National Technical Benchmarking Award.

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American Government Righting Sports Wrongs – NBA Stimulus Package

Posted by Orrin Woodward on March 30, 2009

Warning: This is humor and is meant to be funny and teach some lessons before it is too late!  This is not slanted toward either Democrats or Republicans as I feel they have both let the American people down and have lost our free enterprise American Ideals!  The people need to educate themselves and this is my reason for writing the following.

I received this spoof article that got me thinking.  We would never do in sports, what we do as a matter of course in business.  Have you ever noticed how business people are portrayed in Hollywood?  Have you ever noticed that anyone that makes money in a networking community building is always passed off as greedy, selfish or worse?  Little recognition of their commitment, little celebration of their success, just criticisms for daring to win in a free enterprise business that not everyone wins at!  Free enterprise is designed to separate the wheat from the chaff.  If you are not good enough; you will fail, until you either get good enough or go into another field better suited for your gifts.  No stimulus package will change that!  This is a non-negotiable economic law.  Enjoy the article that I wrote tongue in cheek and please pass on your thoughts.  We do not help industry by artificially keeping people in the game who have not earned the favor of the customers! God Bless, Orrin Woodward

Democracy has spoken.  Sources in our all powerful government have leaked to the press that HOPE NBA is rolling out.   HOPE – Helplessly Out-skilled People Entering – NBA is an important government policy designed to give the less fortunate an opportunity to participate and share every boy’s dream of playing in the NBA.  For years selfish, greedy athletes with skills given to them through little effort of their own have taken most of the headlines and playing time in the NBA.  Our government and many American voters became concerned about this blatant inequality. What about all the overweight, out of shape weekend warrior guys like Fred Snodgrass?  Fred has never been given his fair playing chance to show the NBA what he can do. Fred played basketball in the 8th grade and he even collected NBA cards before Magic Johnson and Larry Bird made the NBA cool again. 

It is guys like Fred who bought Cleveland season tickets year after year to support these prima donna athletes. Why can’t people cheer for Fred once in a while?  Is that so hard America?  Fred is a lifelong fan and felt something should be done!  Fred and his HOPE-NBA political action committee, CRYBABIES – (Committee to Restore Your Belief in American Basketball’s Integrity and Equality of Scores) are backed by millions of angry fans and weekend warriors who have vowed to fight until this injustice is corrected.  Anyone who can vote can now play in the NBA!

Fred and millions of CRYBABIES utilized the democratic process to vote in a government to bring HOPE and CHANGE – (Collective Handouts Allowing No Grounds for Excellence) in the NBA.  Fred believed that he could gather enough votes from other CRYBABIES to bring this type of CHANGE and HOPE to the NBA.  Fred envisioned a time sharing plan for the NBA.  This would allow the men down on their luck to experience the joy of playing in the new HOPE-NBA. The fact that the NBA players voted against this “fair play stimulus package” just proves their selfish hearts and the denial of the equality principle that America stands for today!  Fred pointed to the current NBA players 100% vote against the stimulus package as further confirmation of government’s need to get involved.   

Sources say government bureaucrats are working hard to enforce maximum playing times for the selfish All Pros.  This will allow the less gifted and committed the time sharing formula necessary to enjoy the American dream.  Pictures of Fred Snodgrass practicing with the Cleveland Cavaliers are making the rounds.  Imagine what a fairer world it will be when our American government finally limits Lebron James to a maximum of 25 minutes per game and no more than 12 points per game.  Why does any NBA player need to score more than 12 points?  When is enough, enough?  Our government must teach these selfish prima donnas a lesson in fair play. Any points in excess by the All Pros will be pooled and dispersed in a “stimulus package” to Fred Snodgrass and the other less fortunate wannabe athletes.   Imagine the dignity and self respect Fred Snodgrass will feel when he looks at the statistics and he is averaging 12 points per game just like Lebron James!  This is an America worth fighting for – results without sacrifice!

CRYBABIES around the country are elated by the latest developments, but many coaches questioned the wisdom of giving weekend warriors so much playing time.  One anonymous coach said, “We are faced with international competition that is putting the best of the best on the court night after night. How can we possibly compete when we have CRYBABIES on the court who haven’t played the game at this level?”  Government officials replied, “Winning games, while Americans CRYBABIES, who are just down on their luck, sit in the stands is not American anymore.  We have to stop the hurting for everyone, even if it means losing games to other nations to ensure equality in America.”  A gleeful Fred Snodgrass was quoted as saying, “For the first time in my life, I feel proud to be an American.  I am an NBA player regardless of my lack of basketball gifts and talents.  America is now a place where anyone without talent, training, effort, commitment, or size can play in the NBA.  All I did was dwell on my hurts and get enough other CRYBABIES who are sick of competing against those selfish winners.  We utilized the democratic process with our voting and our government did the rest!  I am so proud to be an American!” 

Season ticket holders for the Cleveland Cavalier have dropped 25%, but the government is proposing a tax on all citizens to make up the difference in lost revenue.  If the tax does not generate enough income to pay the CRYBABIES salaries, the government will quickly print new money.  In the first scrimmage against the Albanian national team, the American’s suffered their first loss ever against this small mountainous country. Fred scored his 12 points, thanks to the stimulus package collected from the excessive points of the All Pros.  Lebron James was not available for comment, but sources say that negotiations between the Irish national team and Lebron’s agent are underway.  Our government, in anticipation of the greedy athletes, has proposed a wall to be built around the entire United States.  This will keep athletes in our country to enjoy the benefits of the new HOPE and CHANGE in the NBA.  Our government was concerned that without this wall, only CRYBABIES would want to stay in the country to play American basketball. 

The Detroit Lions have taken the lead in promoting the same type of HOPE and CHANGE for the NFL.   A Detroit Lions official shared his thoughts, “We are sick and tired of attempting to compete against the Pittsburgh Steelers, (a greedy group of sports athletes & capitalist), who act like winning trophies is more important than sharing the laurels.  The Lions have never won a Super Bowl while the Steelers have six!  How is that fair?  Many of the less fortunate teams are forming groups to right this obvious wrong.  I want to thank our government for having the courage to lead the way in legitimizing this righteous maneuver.  In the American past, this was called loser’s envy, but today this is equality!  Thanks to our government, the Detroit Lions franchise and our fans will no longer be ashamed to be part of the NFL and wear a Lion’s jersey.”

The American Government is meeting with Major League baseball, the NHL, Tiger Woods and Michael Phelps later this month to review joint plans for HOPE and CHANGE.  Welcome to the new fairer, non-competitive America. 

12 Responses to “American Government Righting Sports Wrongs – NBA Stimulus Package”

  1. […] in the NBA, allowing those without talent being allowed to compete in the name of fairness – Read it here on Orrin’s site. Having believed in democracy 100% at the time and that there could be […]

  2. Tony Tefel Jr. said

    This article gives an amazing perspective on the state of our nation. I plan on copying this link to my Facebook page! Thank you Orrin for your witty take on a serious topic!

  3. Peggi Kern said

    Although humorous, it does make me think! Thanks, Orrin!

  4. Jeanette said

    Wow! I think your right on! It’s seems ludicrous that we would do that with our sports teams doesn’t it?! How much more our country? Thank you for the courage and character to address such sensitive issues!
    God Bless!

  5. Love this! Taught me do much about the bailouts! It is so on my level of thinking at the time, helped me to the next step!

  6. Aaron Yoder said

    That’s a hilarious story bringing out a sad reality.

  7. Chris VanDevere said

    On behalf fans across the nation I would ask for equality in sporting venues. Why should the financial lagress of Cleveland Cavaliers season ticket holders be retained in Cleveland when fans in Mansfield are willing to cheer on the team at their high school? Utilizing the financial leverage afforded by the season ticket holders, the government could further secure equality of venue in Mansfield. Mansfield fans unite and end this inequity!

  8. I’m so glad you wrote this article. Now I have a way to teach this. 🙂 I’ve tried discussing this analogy with others, and failed, although the point sank in well the first time I heard it from you. Really opened my eyes. Thanks Orrin.

  9. Dave Nelson said

    Wow, This is sweet. I love your parables, you make the difficult easier to understand and relate to.
    thank you

  10. Jerry said

    Wow, this is so funny ! It is halarious and thank God it is only a joke but what if that would change to reality? I can see this happening in other aspects of our world such as the government thinking it is ok to use digitized money, fake money and then taking the people’s real money that we pay interest on! So, who knows Snoggrass may become a reality 😂 lol.

  11. Ross said

    It might make watching basketball some what entertaining. Nah it wouldn’t. Thanks for posting Orrin?

  12. Daryl Sroufe said

    Thank you, Ayn Rand. Wait a sec… She didn’t write this? Never would have guessed. 🙂

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