Orrin Woodward on LIFE & Leadership

Inc Magazine Top 20 Leader shares his personal, professional, and financial secrets.

Archive for August, 2014

Unspeakable by Os Guinness

Posted by Orrin Woodward on August 28, 2014

As the Chairman of LIFE Leadership, I have made reading a life-long habit. Nonetheless, this year’s summer season reading regimen was particularly productive. In fact, I read so many challenging books at my Michigan house that it is difficult to choose which one was the most impactful. However, if I was pressed to choose, it would have to be Unspeakable by Os Guinness. This book tackles the question of evil and how the Judeo/Christian, Hindu/Buddhist, and secular humanist world views respond to it. Through following Guinness’s line of reasoning I was left appreciating the strengths and weakness of each worldview while still bolstering my belief that Christianity has the most consistent answers to the problem of, and the response to, evil in the world. 

Most people see themselves as fighters against evil, but what happens after they realize that the biggest battle they fight against evil is the war within their own hearts? Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn described the dilemma human beings face in his classic The Gulag Archipelago when he wrote, “But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being? And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?” To destroy evil we must either destroy our heart or transform it through God’s grace.

The Lord's Prayer

The Lord’s Prayer

In his chapter on second chances, Guinness takes no prisoners. He explains how nearly everyone has said the Lord’s Prayer at some time in his/her life. However, few realize exactly what they are praying when they say, “and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Indeed, most of us mouth the words blissfully ignorant of the prayers meaning. For when a person prays this, he is stating that if he doesn’t forgive others, then he prays that God doesn’t forgive him! Yikes!

Guinness wrote, “No wonder Saint Agustine called the famous line in the Lord’s Prayer ‘the terrible petition’: ‘Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.’ If we pray that prayer and fail to forgive our fellow human beings as we have been forgiven, we are actually asking God not to forgive us. . . nothing that anyone can ever do to us will equal what we have done to God, and he has offered us forgiveness completely and freely. Our duty, then, is to forgive as we have been forgiven and to show that we have been forgiven by being willing to forgive others in our turn. Do they deserve it? Did we?”

It’s important to understand that forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. You can forgive someone even if they are unwilling to reconcile. It is this truth that allows Christians to have joy even when their enemies still hate them. Otherwise, they would carry enmity against their foes which poisons their own soul as much as it does their Haters. In the book Unbroken, for instance, POW Ernest Zamperini carried so much bitterness and hatred against a Japanese officer, who abused him in the war camp, that he nearly destroyed his own life through hating and alcohol. In sum, external evil (unjust oppression) had metastasized into internal evil (hatred in the heart). Fortunately, once he was forgiven by Christ, he was finally able to forgive the unrepentant guard.

Why am I telling you this? Because after twenty-one years of leadership, I have concluded that unrepentant sin holds more people back from their God-given destiny than anything else. Lack of forgiveness is sin, plain and simple. If you are a Christian, and harboring anger against someone, let it go. Place it in the same spot your own sins were layed – at the foot of the Cross. This is serious. Stop reading for a second and think about whom in your life you need to forgive. Go ahead. I’ll wait. Is there anyone from your past or present that is binding you in bitterness? Stop drinking poison while expecting others to die. Forgive them like Christ forgave you to release the evil bonds. 

With so much evil and injustice to fight on the outside, why continue harbor these rebels on the inside? Guinness wrote, “. . . true forgiveness is not the same thing as condoning. . . It is not to deny wrong.It is not to tolerate the intolerable or lie down under the outrageous. It is to call a spade a spade, and evil evil, and to allow the full horror of its magnitude and outrage to sink in on every level – and then to be willing to dismiss the grounds of our own personal vengeance toward the evildoer. In other words, forgiveness confronts the evil as evil, and the wrongdoer as guilty, but refuses to retaliate and so refuses to play evil’s game and let evil have the final say.”

It’s time to wipe out our enemies by making them a friend. I let go of my remaining enmity back in 2011, shortly before the launch of  LIFE Leadership. I realized that I could not carry around bitterness and resentment while still leaving enough room to love others as Christ commanded. What about you? Isn’t it time to let the hurts, the bitterness, and the pain go? Christ did that for us and now it’s time we pray rather than poison those who hurt us. Only then will you experience the peace that passeth understanding. Martin Luther King experienced more than his share of oppression, but he did not let the evil conquer his heart; instead, he observed, “We never get rid of an enemy by meeting hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by getting rid of the enmity.” Amen to that, Mr. King.

Sincerely,

Orrin Woodward

Posted in Faith, LIFE Leadership | 40 Comments »

How Limiting Beliefs Paralyze Your Growth

Posted by Orrin Woodward on August 20, 2014

Life is interesting. On one hand people say they want better results in life, but on the other, they seem paralyzed to perform the actions they know need to be done to improve. Why is this? Well, after 21 years of leading communities and studying human behavior, I have concluded that until a person changes his limiting belief, he will not change his inactivity.

I know. I know. You are probably thinking: but Orrin, how do you change beliefs? Great question. In fact, this is the topic of one of this months (August)  LIFE Leadership LLR talks. In effect, one must learn to stand outside yourself and honestly look into why you are not doing what it takes to accomplish what you said you wanted. Psychologist call this cognitive dissonance. And, nearly every time, there is a belief system in conflict with the stated goal. If this isn’t addressed and replaced with a better belief system, nothing of significance will change.

For instance, one of the common limiting beliefs for many people is the thought that they have no control over life’s outcomes. So long as someone believe they have no control over the results in his/her life, why would they even try? While it is true that we do not control or influence everything that happens to us (to name just two – natural disasters or health challenges), most people view every area of life like it is random or a game of chance. In sum, whatever will be will be. 

In contrast, a better view of life would be to see it as an exciting rapid-filled river that has never been traversed before. True, we have no knowledge or control over the river’s direction, drops, and dangers, but, thankfully, we are issued a kayak (vehicle), paddle (tool) and mind (thinking). The mind can learn to use the paddle to steer the kayak through life. In fact, this is the goal of LIFE Leadership – to teach people the proper strategies (wisdom) to navigate the rivers of life by utilizing the paddle in the current to propel us in the direction of our dreams.

If someone believes they have no control over the direction life’s river takes them, they, unfortunately, won’t even attempt to use their paddle. Thus, their limiting belief becomes their reality as the kayak bounces hopelessly off the canyon walls and eventually capsizes in the roughest rapids. Limiting beliefs paralyze a person into inaction. In this example, he/she focuses upon what is not within his/her control rather than upon what is. 

The professional kayakers, however, respond differently. They have learned to navigate the rapids even when they have never been on a particular river before. How you ask? Because they have learned to apply river wisdom to recognize repeatable patterns present within rapids everywhere. In a similar way, wisdom supplies leaders with the ability to recognize repeatable patterns within life and apply the proper principle at the right time to navigate successfully.

Seek wisdom and everything else will be added unto you. What are you waiting for? Aren’t you tired of having life happen to you rather than making life happen? Laurie and I certainly were. We discovered Biblical principles applied to our lives and our business made all the difference. Perhaps its time replace your limiting beliefs with the truth so you can live the life you’ve always wanted.

Below is a short segment of this month’s talk.

Sincerely,

Orrin Woodward

Posted in Leadership/Personal Development, LIFE Leadership | 23 Comments »

You Cannot Lead Who You Need

Posted by Orrin Woodward on August 12, 2014

Leaders must have posture (a mixture of self-respect and love for others) to build a following. For people will not respect a person who begs and pleads them to follow. Instead, people follow a leader who knows where he is going and invites them to come along while maintaining his self-respect, dignity, and direction. In short, you cannot lead those you need. LIFE Leadership is about building a leader’s self-respect so that he can serve others needs.

Posture is the recognition that life is a parade and that a person’s leadership is not for everyone. Therefore, maintain your self-respect, recognize that God will lead the right people to you, and work constantly on becoming a better leader for the right people better. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of posture. In fact, once a person has developed unquestioned character and work-ethic, posture becomes the one of the key differences between success and failure.

I love serving people but I have learned through many years experience that my effectiveness is directly related to the hunger and respect the student has for the information I share. For example, if a student does not respect the leader’s time then he does not respect his information either. Posture is recognizing the line between service to others and self-respect. Every great leader must have self-respect before he can expect others to respect him. Indeed, it’s only when this posture is set that a leader is capable of making a difference in others lives.

Perhaps the best description I ever read on posture came from Dr. James Dobson in his fantastic marriage book called What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women. I know it sounds crazy, but in the middle of seeking to be a better husband for Laurie, God directed me to one of the biggest breakthroughs in my personal leadership journey – Posture with People.  Dr. Dobson was explaining his own posture journey with his future wife Shirley. I will let him explain the principle in his own words:

Dr. James Dobson

Dr. James Dobson

When we first met, she was a lowly sophomore in college and I was a lofty senior. I viewed myself as a big man on campus, and my relationship with this young coed mattered little to me. She, in turn, had been very successful with boys, and was greatly challenged by the independence I demonstrated. She wanted to win me primarily because she wasn’t sure that she could . . . but her enthusiasm inhibited my own interest in return.

After graduation, we had one of those lengthy conversations well known to lovers the world over, when I said I wanted her to date other fellows while I was in the Army, because I didn’t plan on getting married soon. I’ll never forget her reaction. I expected Shirley to cry and hold onto me. Instead, she said, “I’ve been thinking the same thoughts, and I would like to date other guys. Why don’t we just go our separate ways, for now.” Her answer rocked me. For the first time in our relationship, she was moving away from me. What I didn’t know was that Shirley stoically closed her front door and then cried all night.

I went to the Army and returned to a nearby school (USC) for my graduate training. By this time, Shirley was an exalted senior and I was a collegiate has-been. She was homecoming queen, senior class president, a member of Who’s Who in American Colleges and Universities, and one of the most popular girls in her class. As might be expected, she suddenly looked very attractive to me. I began to call several times a day, complain about who she was spending her time with, and try to find ways to please my dream girl. However, the moment Shirley saw my enthusiasm and anxiety, her affection began to die. Gone was the challenge which had attracted her two years before. Instead, I had become just another fellow pounding on her door and asking for favors.

One day after a particularly uninspiring date, I sat down at my desk and spent two solid hours thinking about what was happening. And during the course of that introspection, I realized the mistake I was making. A light flashed in my head and I grabbed a pen and wrote ten changes I was going to make in our relationship. First, I was determined to demonstrate self-respect and dignity, even if I lost the one I now loved so deeply. Secondly, I decided to convey this attitude every time I got the chance: “I am going somewhere in life, and I’m anxious to get there. I love you, and hope you choose to go with me. If you do, I’ll give myself to you and try to make you happy. However, if you choose not to make the journey with me, then I can’t force my will on you. The decision is yours, and I’ll accept it.”

. . . The first night when I applied the new formula was one of the most thrilling experiences of my life. The girl who is now my wife saw me starting to slip away on that evening, and she reacted with alarm. We were riding in silence in my car, and Shirley asked me to pull over to the curb and stop. When I did she put her arms around my neck and said, “I’m afraid I’m losing you and I don’t know why. Do you still love me?” I notice by the reflected light of the moon that she had tears in her eyes. She obviously didn’t hear my thumping heart as I made my little speech about my solitary journey in life. You see, I had reestablished the challenge for Shirley, and she responded beautifully.

The psychological force which produced our see-saw relationship is an important one, since it is almost universal in human nature. . . we crave that which we cannot attain, but disrespect that which we can’t escape. The axiom is particularly relevant in romantic matters, and has probably influenced your love life, too. Now the forgotten part is that marriage does not erase or change it. Whenever one marriage partner grovels in his own disrespect . . . when he reveals his fear of rejection by his mate . . . when he begs and pleads for a handout . . . he often faces a bewildering attitude of disdain from the one he needs and loves.

Just as in the premarital relationship, nothing douses more water on a romantic flame than for one partner to fling himself emotionally on the other, accepting disrespect in stride. He says in effect, “No matter how badly you treat me, I’ll still be here at your feet, because I can’t survive without you.” That is the best way I know to kill a beautiful friendship.

So what am I recommending . . . that husbands and wives scratch and claw each other to show their independence? No! That they play a sneaky cat and mouse game to recreate a “challenge”? Not at all! I am merely suggesting that self-respect and dignity be maintained in the relationship.

How can you improve your leadership posture? Please share your thoughts.

Sincerely,

Orrin Woodward

Posted in Leadership/Personal Development | 42 Comments »